It’s been a wild year for Vandy the Bear. After making his debut at an East v. West alumni basketball game Jan. 30, he’s been accused of PED use, held accountable for the region’s rapid decline of freshwater trout and told his grey fur color isn’t natural. Where did Vandy the Bear come from? And what happened to Clinton D. Bear — former SJC Brooklyn mascot for nearly a decade?
Wild rumors have stirred long enough. OnCampus determined to pursue these inquiries directly to their source.
OnCampus: Vandy the Bear, thank you for taking time out of your schedule to meet with us. Let’s get right to it: How did you achieve such impressive mascot muscle mass so quickly?
Vandy the Bear: Diet and exercise. I eat lean. Strictly paleo with extra emphasis on fish. I hit the Hill Center weight room at least five times a week. Alternate cardio with strength training. That’s it.
OC: What do you say to those claiming that degree of mascot muscle cannot be achieved on simply diet and exercise alone?
Vandy: *scoffs* I can’t stomach the rhetoric surrounding my physique. That I must be using PEDs. Listen, I’ve always been a genetic freak. Other mascots should look in the mirror if they’re going to start pointing fingers, or wings, or claws. Not my fault their fur isn’t padded with as much muscle as mine.
Vandy’s Top 10 Health Tips*
- “Don’t overeat. Say ‘no thank you’ to that fifth consecutive trout.”
- “Eat smaller portions. Only consume as much as your 15-inch paw can hold.”
- “Intermittent fasting works. If you’re eating dinner at 6 p.m., don’t eat again until you’ve hibernated at least three months.”
- “Before you start a meal, put your dessert up in a tree. That way you have to climb that same tree to get at it.”
- “Prepare your own meals and plan out your lunches for the week on Sunday. That way you don’t get tempted by store-prepared moose or deer.”
- “Drink plenty of water. At least 40 oz. every hour.”
- “Focus on nutrients, not calories.”
- “Discipline is more valuable than a fad diet or workout plan. Get yourself in the gym at least three times a week.”
- “To get started, bring a friend to the gym to help you build a routine.”
- “Do not eat that friend.”
*Not officially sanctioned by the SJC Brooklyn Health Center
OC: The other big question, one which I’m sure you’ll see coming, is what role, if any, did you play in the disappearance of former SJC Brooklyn mascot Clinton D. Bear? Some say you sent him into hibernation — permanently.
Vandy: I’ve heard all the rumors. That I’m the one responsible for his disappearance. That I’m secretly the same mascot as Clinton, just after a dye-job and rampant steroid use. None of that is true. The bottom line is I have no idea what happened to Clinton D. Bear. I wish him all the best, wherever he is.
OC: How did you happen to arrive at SJC precisely when our former mascot went missing?
Vandy: Before my debut this January, I was just another undergraduate mascot student attending classes at SJC Brooklyn. I’d just returned from winter break (hibernation) and was into my first week of spring classes. Then, on Jan. 30, I got the call from Anthony Macapugay (Manager of Athletic Communications), asking if I could show up at a game and warm up the crowd. You know what happened from there. I said I’d be more than happy to. Just a coincidence that Clinton D. Bear wasn’t around after that.
OC: A happy coincidence.
OC: You’ve since eclipsed Clinton’s legacy and have taken over as full-time mascot, brandishing a sense of style all your own.
Vandy: That’s right. When I’m out in midcourt, pumping up the crowd during a timeout, I like to put an emphasis on flexing. In my opinion, too many mascots are doing what I call “fluff production “— clapping their hands, telling the crowd to get on their feet, holding their paw to their ear. I like to flex for 30 seconds at a time. Trust me, it gets results.
OC: Fair enough. So what does the future hold for Vandy the Bear?
Vandy: Graduating on time. I want to make one thing clear: I’m still a student at heart — first and foremost. I promised my mother I’d earn my degree and be the first mascot in our family to get his Ph.D. So that’s my main focus, earning my bachelor’s here at SJC, then moving on to graduate school. If I can do some flexing at midcourt along the way, all the better.